How do we handle being wrong? How do we handle messing up? How do we handle not getting what we want? I understand it sounds childish and these issues may also seem immature but they are something that plagues me and if I had to guess others.
Human beings are natural planners, they have exact ways that they want things to go, even if they know 9 times out of 10 nothing is going to go to plan. This idea of a plan results in hope, hoping for one thing to another, hoping the results and the future looks how you want it too. BUT, it doesn't always turnout that way. It doesn't always end in a happy ending. This leads to disappointment.
How human beings respond to disappointment can be different in every situation. But no matter how big or the small it sucks, and it leaves a mark moving forward. You are always told learn from mistakes, learn from disappointment, but it doesn't make the pain in the moment any easier. Perhaps you do learn and grow and go on to be better after the past, there is still a wake left, one that unless you have a time machine you can not control or fix.
On the field this week we were dominated, on the offense side of the ball. Self inflicted wounds made even our smallest success on the field look bleak. We just could not get it going, as the quarterback it starts with me, I made poor decisions in my first start in 5 years, I got lost in the game. Instead of rising to the opportunity presented in front of me I was almost more swallowed by it. I made mistakes I haven't made since high school, things that hadn't presented themselves in practice for years. But it happened, and all I can do is respond and learn, and heal.
I am pretty beat up, I took an estimation of about 15 hits on Saturday some of them I could have avoided myself, some of them were unavoidable. So with some bruised ribs, and a right hip thats purple and the size of a baseball my body has to recover.
I also have to recover emotionally, it's been a long couple of weeks, the stresses and the ups and downs of being a college athlete can weigh on you. Add that to mistakes I have personally made and you have the perfect storm someone does not need going in the situations I am in.
How will I respond to the adversity that life is throwing at me now. I don't truly know.
I am trying! But I understand it is an uphill battle, and I have to face it the best way I know how, and learn and grow from some of the toughest weeks of my life.
