When it's Gone. 08/10/90/99

It's said, "you only appreciate things fully, once they are gone." I have come to realize this to the fullest of extents over 21 years on this earth. It can be little things or big things. Places you were in your life you took for granted. Decisions you made or didn't. Opportunities you had, that you both took and missed. 

I understand I have not written in quite some time, I also understand that after reading that first paragraph this has a bit of a somber tone. I think it is going to pick up stick with me. 

I want to talk about appreciating not things at all, but people. Most people who know me can safely say I am a people person. I think that comes from the people I have been blessed with in my life. I know what good people, genuine people can do in someone's life. However, I know that I do not always appreciate, to the fullest the people in my life, making an impact, always in my corner. 

I think everyone can show it differently, a parent, an aunt or uncle, a cousin, a friend, a boyfriend/girlfriend. Every person has a different way they show support, or how they show, that no matter what you are never going to lose them in your life. 

I have been blessed with a lot of these people. Sometimes even I find it harder to realize that they are there for the long haul but over time, I appreciate it. 

On August 19th, 2020 I lost one of those people that I was beginning to learn to appreciate. He and I had a special relationship on the field. As time was passing the relationship off the field was developing as well. He no longer asked me about football, he asked me about life, work, academics, family, girls. He cared about the all-around man I was becoming. Sometimes he even let out a smile. 

My perspective and life have evolved since that day, and while no I am not where I want to be, I like to think I am going in the right direction. 

I have hugged teammates in ways I never thought I would have to. I have been at a loss for words when young guys looked to me for answers. But in a fashion only Coach Jones could entail I have grown, I Get To grow. 

I have learned that you have to appreciate it all, IN EVERY MOMENT. I have put a priority on living in each moment with those I hold so close because nothing and no one is guaranteed. I have tried to get past bad situations, tough and difficult choices, decisions, outcomes, finding what I get to do moving forward.  All of that comes from Coach Benjamin Jones. 

Perhaps what makes it all so more real for me, is that he was exactly 9 years older than me. August 10th, 1990, and 1999.

I have never been big on birthdays and trust me I don't think coach was either, but my birthday is forever changed. Don't get me wrong I appreciated my birthday, trips, and newer traditions, with people I will always love. But I have always said they are just another day but once again that is me not appreciating the things in my life I am blessed with. 

I spent two birthdays with Coach, my 17th and 18th, on the practice field, my junior and senior years of HS. That is almost what my birthday had become. A football practice day, I have had football practice on 7 of the last 8 birthdays I have "celebrated". I was perfectly okay with that! I believe possibly one last time that is how I will celebrate my birthday this August. 

But now my birthday means more, while it never truly was just mine, I can safely say, now it is our birthday. A day that I celebrate another year of life with the people and things I appreciate. 

With all this being said, this is not a random post, or writing. I do have a lot going on, decisions and choices at some point I will need to make, but I GET TO make those, I get to keep learning, growing, maturing and moving forward. And perhaps I needed a reminder of that, and one of those people I can never stop appreciating. I love you coach, and I will never forget the impact you had on me. 

I will end this "announcement" on this note, Coach Jones should be entering his 3rd year as the Head Football Coach at Cranbrook schools. Coach Jones should be my first call if I were to ever win the lottery. Coach Jones should be pushing student-athletes to be the best versions of themselves both on and off the field (which would include barrel-rolls). But instead, he is gone far too soon. 

The woman who hit and killed Coach Jones was driving at a .28 blood alcohol level, this selfish act took Coach Jones away from not only his current and former players, friends, and family, but kept him from having an impact on countless student-athletes to follow. I ask, no I beg, before you drink and drive, think about the other people you could affect, because it is never you who is affected the most. 

I will never forget, and I will not let his memory and legacy be pushed away or lost. I GET TO find the positive, I GET TO learn, I HAVE to, for him.