My Family Writes

To those that know us the best we are not emotional rocks, ESPECIALLY THE MEN! We cry, and when we cry, we cry hard! We wear our emotions on our sleeves like good Irish, and Scottish decedents should. We often have no filter, this is very true with the two youngest men that hold the McConnell name. And when we feel emotions we feel them to the fullest of extents, no matter the emotion high or low, good or bad, our emotions run the extreme.

My family tree is not the largest, and it is littered with females thus our last names continue to expand. We are spread across the country, and across age demographics. We love all kinds of things, we have interests in sports, reading, photography. We are athletes, we are salesmen, we are engineers, we are educators, we are managers, we are McConnell's. 

We are writers. 

In full disclosure a McConnell recently departed on their own new adventure, without the rest of us. In my eyes she was the strongest McConnell. Arguably the most opinionated of us all, she knew her beliefs and was not afraid to share them. We loved her for it, and the world is better off for it. 

(She wrote this herself)

https://www.legacy.com/obituaries/stltoday/obituary.aspx?n=elizabeth-mcconnell-bj&pid=195566793

I would be lying if I said we were the closest in our family, I will be honest and say that I did not know all that she had done until recently. I knew brief snippets of all the things this powerful woman had accomplished and yes, powerful is the word to describe her. 

So many wonderful things have been written about her. It is not my place to write more about this woman that I loved with my whole heart and even more so now respect for all that she accomplished and how she captured life!

Instead I wanted to write more about my family, and how we all are writing to deal with life nowadays. My cousins write(one of them puts us all to shame), my father writes, my uncle writes, and I write. I may be biased but we are all pretty damn good at it. 

Writing gives me a voice not many expect me to have. To this day when ever I tell someone I write I get a surprised look on their face as a response. Writing has become a platform for me to share other-sides of myself. It gives me an opportunity to be creative while also sharing, what I choose to share. Getting things off my chest in a distinct way. 

My dad writes for a multitude of reasons I am sure but, often they are to voice emotions that he couldn't share in the moment, sometimes because he was getting emotional. For I believe the past 3-4 years as a new school year has come upon us he has written me a letter. He has written me when he knows I am down, he has written me when he knows I am up. The act of writing something in today's society gives it all new meaning. 

My uncle and two of my cousins currently write to grieve, to cope, to celebrate, and to reminisce. Often times bringing their readers to tears (thanks Ross). Today because of all of their writing they sparked me writing. 

Writing is a freedom, and a gateway to more of oneself, it can be a stress reliever, an outlet, or therapeutic. 

With so much of my life seemingly turned upside down, I write because I know that it can't go anywhere. 

So I ask what would you write?

Stargazing

Life is not easy. However maybe that is the beauty of it. Nothing seems to go to plan. Nothing seems to come easy. Yet we power through, we get through, we learn, we grow.

Tonight for the first time in far too long I went to our stadium and stared at the stars. Now keep in mind I go to school in the middle of a cornfield, our skies are gorgeous on clear nights. Something that I have not nearly taken enough advantage of. I sat underneath a windmill in a spot that will forever hold a spot in my heart for a multitude of reasons and I took it all in.

Maybe this was a reminder to "put my big boy pants on". Maybe this was a reminder that everything happens for a reason. Maybe this was a reminder to just go to work and focus on myself. None the less I needed it.

As someone who keeps his emotions, at least the deepest ones closest to his chest I will never be the first to admit that sometimes I don't know. For so long now I have kept the perception and the reputation of just being the guy in control. The guy with the answers, I am never too stressed always relaxed never too high or too low. From an early age I learned the 3 Cs calm, cool, collected. I have lived by them.

2020 has however tested all of me. In facets that I never could have predicted. I have seen those most important to me at their lowest. I have seen the normalcies of my life get thrown out the window. I have looked in the mirror and pushed myself to be better to step out of my comfort zone, to own who I am, who I want to be, and who I need to be.

So in a night where I needed some perspective I looked to the stars. I was in awe of their simplicity and beauty. It had been so long since I just looked up and enjoyed what has been given to me. Something that I have written about before. I truly don't know how the future unfolds, but I do know what I control. So it is my choice as to how I want to handle what I control, which is who I want to take the future on with, and how I want to live it.

So I ask, when was the last time you stargazed?

Victor In Arduis

Dear Parents, Family, Friends,

If you have followed along with my writing and its progress, as well as my personal progress as I have tackled my first few years of college you will see that while these past years of my life have been ever so challenging they have shaped me into in all honesty someone that I am so proud to be.

With that being said, I have written and talked about my struggles with home and family multiple times, given speeches about how important community is to me time and time again. Once again I write to you as I have done something that will forever leave a mark on me to help me recognize who I am and how I have become the young man I am today.

#McConnellvstheworld, a simple hashtag created by one person that I look up to in this world as much as anyone, and have since he used to throw footballs in the backyard of my grandmothers house higher than I ever thought possible.

While I have become who I am today through experiences and times on my own I have only had the ability to grow and become that person because of the people I have around me. My family is my everything. I sat/stood on the beach in January remembering one of the most influential woman I have ever had in my life I looked back at a house that was filled with many of the most important people in my life.

I wrote about how my home was with the people that truly meant the most to me. That remains true. But my family is something that could never be topped. I grew up in Florida and it is still a state that till the day I die will have a special place in my heart. But in that moment on the beach in Indian Shores, Florida I realized that there was something more important to me than a state.

For about a year now I had planned on getting a tattoo, I don't know why but I knew I wanted one. For the longest time I thought I had wanted it to be something signifying the state in which I grew up in. However I was wrong, because the only reason I wanted it to be that state was because it was where my FAMILY had been for so long.

So I changed my mind, quietly of course, I realized that it wasn't the state that I wanted to have with me when I needed "Victory In Adversity", it was my family. 

So on Friday, February 21st I did it.

Now when ever I face a hard time all I have to do is look down to see how I can get through anything, because I am a McConnell.

Mobile Home

I was asked recently what I considered home to be. And almost as if I had rehearsed it I said that "home was where I felt had shaped me into who I am and where I will always feel welcomed and at peace." For much of my life even if the actual roof over my head wasn't there I considered Florida my home.

However, over the past months and arguably year, I have realized that home does not have to be a singular place. I now know I have many homes. I have a home in Orlando, FL, I have one in Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, Ada, Ohio, Troy, Michigan, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, Detroit, Michigan Redondo Beach, California. Just to name a few.

Home has many definitions and synonyms, household, dwelling, condominium. The definition that should be focused on, A familiar or usual setting, a congenial environment sometimes gets lost.  Home can be where ever it is needed.

The places I stated above are not places I have lived, some of them are places I have never even been. But what I do know, is that in each city I have people who care about me. Home is not a structure not a place. Home is a people.



Over the past week, I have seen and spent time with family I had not seen in months. And it was back in the state I considered home. But, that wasn't what made this vacation so important or enjoyable to me. Being surrounded by the people you care about is what makes our lives and our time so worthwhile.

I watched as my parents, aunts, and uncles journeyed down memory lane with life long friends sharing stories that will stand forever. And while these friends and stories originated in central portions of Florida the tales would be told and the laughs would be shared if the meeting was taking place in a frozen tundra.

In life we all face hardships and struggles, we also reach new heights and joys. We do not rush to a building to share in those, we run to a people. We run to those we care about and that we know care about us.

So my question is not, where is you home? but, who is your home?

A Matriarch, Remembering One Who Brought Us All Together

Merriam-Webster describes the word as, a woman who rules or dominates a family, group, or state

specifically: a mother who is head and ruler of her family and descendants. Their use of the word in a sentence brought me to tears because it could not be more accurate in my family. Our grandmother was the family's matriarch.

To me, she was the first babysitter I remember. Golfing three times a week. Hotdogs at "the club" and, movie dates on rainy days. She was the first person I truly ever wanted to make proud. She was a role model in everything she did whether she knew it or not. 

To others she was mom. The chaperon, the chauffeur, the team mom, the shoulder to cry on, the advice you didn't want but needed, the rock in your life. Her smile and laugh lit up every room she entered. She made an impression the moment you met or saw her. 

The fact that she got her degree in teaching never surprised anyone as she always wanted to have a positive impact on those she came in contact with. Her home was always open whether you were the youngest sibling or cousin. Having the best day or the worst. She was whatever you needed her to be. She was summers at the beach, holiday meals, miller-lite and always cake behind the paper towel roll. 

Perhaps the most important thing that Marion passed on to so many people was the importance of community. Her family actively involved in swimming. She was very involved with the Greater Tampa Swim Association as well as the Academy of the Holy Names. She was an avid golfer and a  President of the Emerald Greens Woman's Golf Association. Everywhere she went it felt as if a family followed. 

Her fondest moments were surrounded by her community. Her kids, grandkids, great-grandkids, cousins, family, and friends. I still remember to this day the tears that came to her eyes moments when we were all together. Whether it was birthday celebrations, weddings, or holiday gatherings the look in her eyes as a family from across the country came together made it all the more special. 

As my family came together to celebrate the new year, and my uncle's 70th birthday on the sandy beaches of Indian Rocks, we celebrated both my grandmother and grandfather in the only way possible. As a community. 

There were and still are tears, laughs, stories, and memories. About two people and moments that have shaped and continue to shape an entire family. And will for generations to come. 

Marion, Mom, Grandma, GG

Gregor, Dad, Umpah

We love you, and are thinking about you every day. As we welcome in the new year, but never forget those who made not only the last decade but the journey of our lives memorable and brought us together to share it. 

The Holiday No One Should Need

I am that guy this year. It is an unwritten rule what things are and are not okay to discuss over Thanksgiving dinner. I was the one this year to break that rule. In my defense Thanksgiving dinner this year was just myself (the only child) and my parents. My family is spread out across the United States with certain portions of it having meals from coast to coast (literally California and Florida).

Our Thanksgiving meal has been quite small since we moved to Michigan, sometimes consisting of friends other times it is just the three of us, and our vacuum otherwise known as Magic our golden retriever. Meal conversations cover a wide array of topics often football/sports related, or random topics that can come up in conversation such as if my mother was going to be in the Olympics what sport would she compete in.

This year, however, I brought up a topic that in most households would fall under the "not okay to discuss" list. I have never been quiet about my opinions and the stronger I feel about certain opinions the louder I tend to get. This year I touched a topic that I feel might reach more tables than just my own.

"Why is Thanksgiving necessary?"

I may have said this 6 pieces of turkey in, and my mom may have first laughed it off, but I was serious. My dad who has gotten quite good at reading when an issue or a topic is something I am serious about, went silent. He looked at me and asked me to elaborate.

Now don't get me wrong I believe that Thanksgiving is a great holiday and it can teach us a lot about the history of this country. I am just not sure why it is required. When you ask people their favorite parts about Thanksgiving the responses are family, food, friends, time off, relaxation, and unfortunately lastly, giving thanks.

My challenge is why is a day needed for this. If you want to be with your family and friends DO IT! Go be with them! Spend a weekend or even just a meal with the people in your life you love. Don't wait for a day once a year to let them know you love them and how blessed you are to have them in your life. If you need to relax then relax. Understand how precious our time on this earth with people we care about truly is.

Give thanks all the time. I am guilty of this probably more than most. In today's society it is so much easier to see the negative side of things, the why nots, the what I don't have. I challenge you to take a step back. Realize what you do have. What you are thankful for. Do not wait for one day a year.

Not every day is guaranteed.

National Siblings Day: To be an Only Child

April 10th is a national holiday I will never celebrate technically. National Siblings Day is a holiday that 77% of US families and children celebrate. Both my parents have siblings of their own. I have multiple cousins on both sides of the family. Most of my friends have siblings.

And yes the "only child syndrome" jokes do get old! (although I strongly attempt to never allow people to have the ability to guess I am an only child).

Throughout my life, I have gone through different stages of how I feel about this fact of being an only child. A few times during my early childhood (ages 3-5) I asked for siblings to no success. As I aged it fell out of priority for me it just didn't matter. I began to develop friendships that became my brothers. As I got to high school sometimes I felt I missed out on the relationship I could have had with a sibling.

Until I realized that I had become someone who cherished friendships and close friendships maybe a bit more than most. I firmly believe this is because of how I grew up. It is something that I am proud of. The ability for those brothers and sisters that I developed such close friendships with to rely on me like we were our own little family.

With all this being said as I enter the next stages of my life I will continue to think how my life could have been different if my family had one more member.

But instead of wishing for a difference I find the benefits behind it. For all of you reading this with siblings, the bond you have with those siblings can not be replicated. However I received one benefit none of you got. I chose my brothers and sisters I chose those that I wanted to have the relationships with, something that I don't think I appreciated until recently.

One thing I know I never appreciated was the relationship it created between me and my parents. There were, and in all honesty are times where it is a negative, but an equal if not more times where it is a positive. My parents and I are close, has it been an easy road no. Were the screaming matches in the kitchen worth it? I think so. Have my parents adjusted to immediately becoming empty nesters? If this weekend was any indication, my father's quote "we are just getting used to doing dinners without you" should let you all know how they stand (I have been gone 9 months).

The family a person grows up in creates the person they become. Only children are given all the attention of their parental unit, ALL OF IT! Only children also benefit from being the only child that has to be spent on. Only children may sometimes feel more pressure than other children with siblings to lighten the load. However only children if given the right environment and freedom can become extremely independent people.

As I continue to get older the fact of being an only child will continue to have an impact on me. As my parents age I will be the only one to look after them. I will also be the single beneficiary of their will, I hope. For much of my life I have ridden an emotional roller coaster as to what it means to be an only child and I will continue it.

There are always multiple ways to look at a situation. This one however is an ever changing look.

The Happiest Place on Earth without me

"You just won the Super Bowl what are you going to do next?"

"I am going to Disney World"

One of the most well known advertisements that is almost not even an ad at this point. Growing up in Tampa exactly one hour and four minutes from the happiest place on earth I grew up a Disney kid. This was before everything was so technologically advanced and you could walk up to the front gate get tickets and have yourself a Disney day without much trouble.

For my spring break this year, I went home and worked as well as interviewing for summer jobs. My parents however took a trip to Disney. While in the beginning I was quite envious of the situation it became something that was more of a reminder. How one brand can have such an impact.

Disney is one of the most widely known brands in the world. Here are 15 facts that you may not know about the brand that can make anyone feel like a kid again.

1. Disney was founded in 1923

2. Disney's first film was Alice's Wonderland

3. The first Disney character was a rabbit

4. They produced the first ever feature animation film

5. Many of their films have reached over 1 billion dollars in revenue and are still growing to this day

6. They have twice made over 4 billion dollars in a calendar year in film

7. The first Disney resort was in California

8. Bob Iger is the current CEO and Chair

9. Headquarters are in California

10. They acquired Pixar in 2006

11. The acquired Marvel in 2009

12. They acquired LucasFilm in 2012

13. Walt Disney World in the largest resort/ park in the world

14. Admission prices to the parks have increased all but three years of existence
-1976
-1977
-1988

15. There are 5 Walt Disney Resorts and Parks around the Globe