Life is not easy. However maybe that is the beauty of it. Nothing seems to go to plan. Nothing seems to come easy. Yet we power through, we get through, we learn, we grow.
Tonight for the first time in far too long I went to our stadium and stared at the stars. Now keep in mind I go to school in the middle of a cornfield, our skies are gorgeous on clear nights. Something that I have not nearly taken enough advantage of. I sat underneath a windmill in a spot that will forever hold a spot in my heart for a multitude of reasons and I took it all in.
Maybe this was a reminder to "put my big boy pants on". Maybe this was a reminder that everything happens for a reason. Maybe this was a reminder to just go to work and focus on myself. None the less I needed it.
As someone who keeps his emotions, at least the deepest ones closest to his chest I will never be the first to admit that sometimes I don't know. For so long now I have kept the perception and the reputation of just being the guy in control. The guy with the answers, I am never too stressed always relaxed never too high or too low. From an early age I learned the 3 Cs calm, cool, collected. I have lived by them.
2020 has however tested all of me. In facets that I never could have predicted. I have seen those most important to me at their lowest. I have seen the normalcies of my life get thrown out the window. I have looked in the mirror and pushed myself to be better to step out of my comfort zone, to own who I am, who I want to be, and who I need to be.
So in a night where I needed some perspective I looked to the stars. I was in awe of their simplicity and beauty. It had been so long since I just looked up and enjoyed what has been given to me. Something that I have written about before. I truly don't know how the future unfolds, but I do know what I control. So it is my choice as to how I want to handle what I control, which is who I want to take the future on with, and how I want to live it.
So I ask, when was the last time you stargazed?
Monday, March 16, 2020
Thursday, February 27, 2020
Victor In Arduis
Dear Parents, Family, Friends,
If you have followed along with my writing and its progress, as well as my personal progress as I have tackled my first few years of college you will see that while these past years of my life have been ever so challenging they have shaped me into in all honesty someone that I am so proud to be.
With that being said, I have written and talked about my struggles with home and family multiple times, given speeches about how important community is to me time and time again. Once again I write to you as I have done something that will forever leave a mark on me to help me recognize who I am and how I have become the young man I am today.
#McConnellvstheworld, a simple hashtag created by one person that I look up to in this world as much as anyone, and have since he used to throw footballs in the backyard of my grandmothers house higher than I ever thought possible.
While I have become who I am today through experiences and times on my own I have only had the ability to grow and become that person because of the people I have around me. My family is my everything. I sat/stood on the beach in January remembering one of the most influential woman I have ever had in my life I looked back at a house that was filled with many of the most important people in my life.
I wrote about how my home was with the people that truly meant the most to me. That remains true. But my family is something that could never be topped. I grew up in Florida and it is still a state that till the day I die will have a special place in my heart. But in that moment on the beach in Indian Shores, Florida I realized that there was something more important to me than a state.
For about a year now I had planned on getting a tattoo, I don't know why but I knew I wanted one. For the longest time I thought I had wanted it to be something signifying the state in which I grew up in. However I was wrong, because the only reason I wanted it to be that state was because it was where my FAMILY had been for so long.
So I changed my mind, quietly of course, I realized that it wasn't the state that I wanted to have with me when I needed "Victory In Adversity", it was my family.
So on Friday, February 21st I did it.
Now when ever I face a hard time all I have to do is look down to see how I can get through anything, because I am a McConnell.
If you have followed along with my writing and its progress, as well as my personal progress as I have tackled my first few years of college you will see that while these past years of my life have been ever so challenging they have shaped me into in all honesty someone that I am so proud to be.
With that being said, I have written and talked about my struggles with home and family multiple times, given speeches about how important community is to me time and time again. Once again I write to you as I have done something that will forever leave a mark on me to help me recognize who I am and how I have become the young man I am today.
#McConnellvstheworld, a simple hashtag created by one person that I look up to in this world as much as anyone, and have since he used to throw footballs in the backyard of my grandmothers house higher than I ever thought possible.
I wrote about how my home was with the people that truly meant the most to me. That remains true. But my family is something that could never be topped. I grew up in Florida and it is still a state that till the day I die will have a special place in my heart. But in that moment on the beach in Indian Shores, Florida I realized that there was something more important to me than a state.
For about a year now I had planned on getting a tattoo, I don't know why but I knew I wanted one. For the longest time I thought I had wanted it to be something signifying the state in which I grew up in. However I was wrong, because the only reason I wanted it to be that state was because it was where my FAMILY had been for so long.
So I changed my mind, quietly of course, I realized that it wasn't the state that I wanted to have with me when I needed "Victory In Adversity", it was my family.
So on Friday, February 21st I did it.
Now when ever I face a hard time all I have to do is look down to see how I can get through anything, because I am a McConnell.
Friday, February 14, 2020
One Year Removed
If you need to be caught up on my love life, and who truly owns my heart please first refer back to my heartbreak of last Valentine's Day
A year removed from my traumatic day in which I watched my first true love be towed away, we are doing okay. There have been ups and downs, highs and lows, we have been through snow storms, potholes, Ohio back roads, and hour long summer commutes to downtown Detroit, and through it all, our bond has grown stronger.
Neither of us are perfect, sometimes the radio doesn't come on the first time I start her up, sometimes I hit a curb, every so often. But she is always there for me. No matter the journey, no matter the obstacles, I know I can always count on her to get me where I am going and keep me moving forward.
When I look back on a year with one of the few constants in my life I am reminded of so many different things. Most recently I am reminded of my micro class in which we talked about selling points, and the question of at what dollar amount would you sell your car came up. We are college students and the range of cars throughout the room was very broad. When it came to me however, I stunned the room at this point in my life when I said, I would not sell my car. The memories and the story behind my car, means more to me than any dollar amount ever could.
I am not saying that our journey together will never come to an end. In my experience, all great relationships come to an end. It takes exceptional relationships to survive and thrive through life together.
As I continue on with my journey and hopefully she continues to be a part of it, she teaches me lessons everyday.
1. Never take her for granted.
2. When she needs something do your best to give it to her.
3. Spoil her, if she needs a new outfit or she deserves a new accessory give it to her.
4. The more you give, the more you will receive.
5. Always remember that no matter the relationship, it is never always going to be perfect. But, if it is important to you, you make it work.
A year removed from my traumatic day in which I watched my first true love be towed away, we are doing okay. There have been ups and downs, highs and lows, we have been through snow storms, potholes, Ohio back roads, and hour long summer commutes to downtown Detroit, and through it all, our bond has grown stronger.
Neither of us are perfect, sometimes the radio doesn't come on the first time I start her up, sometimes I hit a curb, every so often. But she is always there for me. No matter the journey, no matter the obstacles, I know I can always count on her to get me where I am going and keep me moving forward.
When I look back on a year with one of the few constants in my life I am reminded of so many different things. Most recently I am reminded of my micro class in which we talked about selling points, and the question of at what dollar amount would you sell your car came up. We are college students and the range of cars throughout the room was very broad. When it came to me however, I stunned the room at this point in my life when I said, I would not sell my car. The memories and the story behind my car, means more to me than any dollar amount ever could.
I am not saying that our journey together will never come to an end. In my experience, all great relationships come to an end. It takes exceptional relationships to survive and thrive through life together.
As I continue on with my journey and hopefully she continues to be a part of it, she teaches me lessons everyday.
1. Never take her for granted.
2. When she needs something do your best to give it to her.
3. Spoil her, if she needs a new outfit or she deserves a new accessory give it to her.
4. The more you give, the more you will receive.
5. Always remember that no matter the relationship, it is never always going to be perfect. But, if it is important to you, you make it work.
Sunday, January 26, 2020
08/23/1978 :8/24: 01/26/2020
I have always heard the 24-hour rule. After a game, practice, event all of the above no matter how it goes wait 24 hours to make a big decision or speak your mind. Do not let the emotions of a moment get to you.
I hate that rule. And while it has saved me time and time again, I have always felt the rawest of emotions are the truest. The ones you haven't sat and thought about for 24 hours.
The average life expectancy in the United States in 78 years. That is the average, but none of those years are promised. It sounds cliche but what would you change about your life if you knew when your time was up? What risks would you take? Who would you want to spend time with? Where would you want to go?
I hate that rule. And while it has saved me time and time again, I have always felt the rawest of emotions are the truest. The ones you haven't sat and thought about for 24 hours.
24 has a different meaning today. I sit here numb. I grew up watching sports. They shaped and continue to shape who I am today.
One of the first professional athletes that I grew up villainizing was Kobe Bryant.
For some reason, I was a Celtics fan at that point in my life. And Kobe just rubbed me the wrong way. As time went on and I moved on to love my beloved Heat and Dwayne Wade, I learned more of who Kobe was. I learned the drive he had, the work ethic, the fact that he was traded on draft night. I learned that this guy from Philadelphia, PA was someone to look up too.
This is the first time that an athlete that I quietly looked up to has passed away. More so someone of this magnitude in my generation has passed away.
The feeling is different, it slows everything down. You realize how quickly everything can change. Life is so precious, and so many of us are just going through the motions.
The average life expectancy in the United States in 78 years. That is the average, but none of those years are promised. It sounds cliche but what would you change about your life if you knew when your time was up? What risks would you take? Who would you want to spend time with? Where would you want to go?
One thing I began to admire about Kobe Bryant as his playing days came to end. Was that he chose to reach back to the next generation in the NBA. Making a difference, impacting, and teaching them not only about skills on the court but also off. Maybe this is one final mamba lesson.
I challenge, NO I IMPLORE YOU to live life in a way that takes advantage of every minute. Because not a single one is guaranteed.
Friday, January 24, 2020
My Goals for 2019
I did not hit them.
Trust me I hope every person had to do a double-take when they saw the title of this post. And I know January is supposed to be a month of optimism. The time of New Year's resolutions and new goals but how can one focus on a new year or new goals. If they don't first reflect on what they did in the past year. You can't get better if you don't realize and look at your mistakes.
I set high goals and reached for the biggest and brightest thoughts I could as I went into the 2019 year. I set 11 goals, and I hit 2.5 of them. Now I probably should have had more goals, gone deeper. But thank goodness I didn't.
Now first things first I don't want this post to be a pity party or a "wow Trevor had a pretty crappy year he didn't do a thing".
I grew in ways I never thought I could. I learned things that I needed to learn but didn't want to. I am still learning and aren't we all. I reshaped priorities time and time again.
Learning what was truly important. What matters to me. Who matters to me. So when I look at the goals I did not achieve over the past 365 days I realize I need to hold myself more accountable. And put things in a different perspective I can say all the right things, work towards all the right goals. But if I don't truly put myself to it and dedicate myself behind the lights how can I really hit the points in my life I need to. This year I have come up with 20 goals.
To share a few highlights:
1. I will achieve a 4.0 GPA
2. I will gain 15-20 pounds
3. I will be a positive influence on the people I meet in my life
4. I will be a leader in my community
5. I will reach back and have an impact on the kids I coach and meet through football
I put these here to help myself be more accountable. I will continue to write and continue to see this post and hopefully go into 2020 with new integrity and a new dedication to myself.
Trust me I hope every person had to do a double-take when they saw the title of this post. And I know January is supposed to be a month of optimism. The time of New Year's resolutions and new goals but how can one focus on a new year or new goals. If they don't first reflect on what they did in the past year. You can't get better if you don't realize and look at your mistakes.
I set high goals and reached for the biggest and brightest thoughts I could as I went into the 2019 year. I set 11 goals, and I hit 2.5 of them. Now I probably should have had more goals, gone deeper. But thank goodness I didn't.
Now first things first I don't want this post to be a pity party or a "wow Trevor had a pretty crappy year he didn't do a thing".
I grew in ways I never thought I could. I learned things that I needed to learn but didn't want to. I am still learning and aren't we all. I reshaped priorities time and time again.
Learning what was truly important. What matters to me. Who matters to me. So when I look at the goals I did not achieve over the past 365 days I realize I need to hold myself more accountable. And put things in a different perspective I can say all the right things, work towards all the right goals. But if I don't truly put myself to it and dedicate myself behind the lights how can I really hit the points in my life I need to. This year I have come up with 20 goals.
To share a few highlights:
1. I will achieve a 4.0 GPA
2. I will gain 15-20 pounds
3. I will be a positive influence on the people I meet in my life
4. I will be a leader in my community
5. I will reach back and have an impact on the kids I coach and meet through football
I put these here to help myself be more accountable. I will continue to write and continue to see this post and hopefully go into 2020 with new integrity and a new dedication to myself.
Tuesday, January 21, 2020
"An intense desire or enthusiasm for something."
Passion has a lot of definitions. The noun can mean so many different things. So when a professor asks you to find yours for an assignment, you brush it off because it seems easy. Until you have to figure it out the day before.
Yeah I procrastinated, but that is not the point of this post. Check back with me in a couple weeks I will have much better stories about procrastination.
I think everyone has their own idea of passion, but I am not sure how many people truly know what theirs is.
For me it's making a difference. And even more importantly making a positive difference in every life I touch.
How I am remembered is a massive part of what motivates me everyday. I want to leave a legacy that people want to remember that people would want to follow. It is also something that can travel with me in every aspect of my life.
How people see you doesn't change with what you are doing. Whether you are having a heart to heart with a friend, throwing a ball on a field, taking notes in a micro class, or taking time too high five a little kid at an elementary school. Who you are, does not change with where you are.
And more importantly, how people see you, react to you, and remember you does not change either.
Everyday people make a difference in other people's days or lives. Everyday you can make a positive or negative impact on the people you come in contact with. No matter how big or small you think it is.
So I ask what impact will you have?
What is your true passion?
Yeah I procrastinated, but that is not the point of this post. Check back with me in a couple weeks I will have much better stories about procrastination.
I think everyone has their own idea of passion, but I am not sure how many people truly know what theirs is.
For me it's making a difference. And even more importantly making a positive difference in every life I touch.
How I am remembered is a massive part of what motivates me everyday. I want to leave a legacy that people want to remember that people would want to follow. It is also something that can travel with me in every aspect of my life.
How people see you doesn't change with what you are doing. Whether you are having a heart to heart with a friend, throwing a ball on a field, taking notes in a micro class, or taking time too high five a little kid at an elementary school. Who you are, does not change with where you are.
And more importantly, how people see you, react to you, and remember you does not change either.
Everyday people make a difference in other people's days or lives. Everyday you can make a positive or negative impact on the people you come in contact with. No matter how big or small you think it is.
So I ask what impact will you have?
What is your true passion?
Friday, January 3, 2020
Mobile Home
I was asked recently what I considered home to be. And almost as if I had rehearsed it I said that "home was where I felt had shaped me into who I am and where I will always feel welcomed and at peace." For much of my life even if the actual roof over my head wasn't there I considered Florida my home.
However, over the past months and arguably year, I have realized that home does not have to be a singular place. I now know I have many homes. I have a home in Orlando, FL, I have one in Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, Ada, Ohio, Troy, Michigan, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, Detroit, Michigan Redondo Beach, California. Just to name a few.
Home has many definitions and synonyms, household, dwelling, condominium. The definition that should be focused on, A familiar or usual setting, a congenial environment sometimes gets lost. Home can be where ever it is needed.
The places I stated above are not places I have lived, some of them are places I have never even been. But what I do know, is that in each city I have people who care about me. Home is not a structure not a place. Home is a people.
Over the past week, I have seen and spent time with family I had not seen in months. And it was back in the state I considered home. But, that wasn't what made this vacation so important or enjoyable to me. Being surrounded by the people you care about is what makes our lives and our time so worthwhile.
I watched as my parents, aunts, and uncles journeyed down memory lane with life long friends sharing stories that will stand forever. And while these friends and stories originated in central portions of Florida the tales would be told and the laughs would be shared if the meeting was taking place in a frozen tundra.
In life we all face hardships and struggles, we also reach new heights and joys. We do not rush to a building to share in those, we run to a people. We run to those we care about and that we know care about us.
So my question is not, where is you home? but, who is your home?
However, over the past months and arguably year, I have realized that home does not have to be a singular place. I now know I have many homes. I have a home in Orlando, FL, I have one in Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, Ada, Ohio, Troy, Michigan, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, Detroit, Michigan Redondo Beach, California. Just to name a few.
Home has many definitions and synonyms, household, dwelling, condominium. The definition that should be focused on, A familiar or usual setting, a congenial environment sometimes gets lost. Home can be where ever it is needed.
The places I stated above are not places I have lived, some of them are places I have never even been. But what I do know, is that in each city I have people who care about me. Home is not a structure not a place. Home is a people.
Over the past week, I have seen and spent time with family I had not seen in months. And it was back in the state I considered home. But, that wasn't what made this vacation so important or enjoyable to me. Being surrounded by the people you care about is what makes our lives and our time so worthwhile.
I watched as my parents, aunts, and uncles journeyed down memory lane with life long friends sharing stories that will stand forever. And while these friends and stories originated in central portions of Florida the tales would be told and the laughs would be shared if the meeting was taking place in a frozen tundra.
In life we all face hardships and struggles, we also reach new heights and joys. We do not rush to a building to share in those, we run to a people. We run to those we care about and that we know care about us.
So my question is not, where is you home? but, who is your home?
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